Breaking the Broken Hallway
A biographical + structural analysis of Ember Leonara’s family system—and how she broke the loop
Abstract (short).
This is a therapist-ready case study and biography of Ember Leonara’s transition from a recursive, emotionally avoidant/narcissistic family system into a transcursive way of being, “letting the light through.” It chronicles four dated touchstones (May 2024, Nov 2024, Dec 2024, Aug 17, 2025), quotes primary-source transcripts, and maps the mechanics: how “broken hallways of mirrors” (recursion) keep everyone stuck, and how transcursion (clean throughput + coherent boundaries) changes the field. It also documents the real-world stakes: a family that helped Ember’s ex separate her from her children multiple times in 2024, then supported filings Ember characterizes as false in 2025, resulting in no contact with her children since April 2025 as of Aug 17, 2025.
Terms (plain-language, then structural)
Emotional avoidance.
Refusing to process difficult feelings or accountability. In practice it looks like changing the subject, minimizing, pushing “solutions” that avoid naming harm, and demanding that the target “move on.”
Narcissistic dynamics (traits, not diagnosis).
Image-management over empathy; superiority over curiosity; blame-shifting; “your truth / my truth” relativism to deflect harm; triangulating others as witnesses for control. (This can be present with or without clinical narcissistic personality disorder.)
Why these create a recursive loop.
Think of a corridor of cracked mirrors. Every reflection bounces but never clarifies; distortions feed distortions. Recursion here = self-referential defenses (avoidance, grandiose certainty, blame) that reflect back into the system. The more energy you send into the hall, the more noise returns.
Transcursion (the way out).
Instead of bouncing light around the broken hall, you open a window. Clean throughput: name what is, set coherent boundaries, refuse the bait of non-connection, and move energy forward (art, documentation, embodied care, aligned community). Transcursion decentralizes, more nodes of clarity appear, and the pattern re-organizes around honesty and care.
Chronological record (with primary-source quotes)
Note: Some dynamics (tone, sarcasm, physicality) exceed what text alone conveys. Where direct quotes are used, they’re marked to the uploaded transcripts. Context beyond the transcripts is identified as Ember’s first-person account.
1) May 2024 — The inception moment (parents’ house)
Context (Ember’s account). Ember spent over 12 hours writing her life story to read vulnerably to both parents, hoping honest exposure would elicit care. Her ex had threatened to take the children to Oregon; her ex’s mother was present. After this gathering, Ember’s ex removed the children for a week; no one from her family checked on Ember.
What’s on tape. The conversation pivots swiftly to pathologizing and institutionalization:
“You said I’ve got to go to a psych ward because I can’t ask for love from my father, so I got to go to a psych ward.”
Father presses “psychiatric hospital” framing after Ember asks to be seen: “And that if you were to actually go and get professionally seen in a psychiatric hospital situation… Because… people who every 15 minutes say they are going to kill themselves…”
Relativizing love and dismissing needs: “This has nothing to do with love… Getting professional help.”
Contempt/derision tied to autistic disclosure: “Man up.” (mocking tone after Ember describes decades of pain)
Pattern signal. Emotional avoidance + narcissistic traits (image over empathy; “fixing” over feeling; shaming the request itself). This is classic recursion: the target asks for witnessing; the system bounces it back as defect.
2) Nov 2024 — W Litchfield Ave (attempt to come out to both parents)
Context (Ember’s account). After a tense dinner, Ember returned to her parents’ home ready to name her trans identity. As she approached disclosure, the discussion devolved. Ember left in tears; she still couldn’t say “I’m a woman.”
What’s on tape.
Direct identity denial + dehumanizing metaphors: “Roach… Hannibal Lecter… fuck you… kill yourself [denied by father afterward].”
Refusal of basic care while admitting refusal: “No. I’m not gonna say anything because I don’t give a shit.”
Father’s Kafka “Metamorphosis” defense slides into misgendering: “You’re a man right now… No. You’re a man right now.”
Pattern signal. Degradation masquerading as intellectual inquiry; identity-policing; contempt in place of curiosity. The mirrors multiply; the signal breaks.
3) Dec 2024 (Christmas, Jubel Court) — Full-family scene
Context (Ember’s account). Ember planned to come out to the entire family; her kids were upstairs sleeping. When her father mocked her clothing and refused even five minutes of heart-centered listening, Ember tried to de-escalate and ask for a small window of love.
What’s on tape.
Ember attempts a boundary and a small request: “You could… give me the biggest gift of my life… shed love on me for 20 minutes...” (this occurred the night of December 25)
The scene escalates into physicality and shouted pathologizing: “He held on to me… and he yelled, ‘you’re mentally ill’ into my ear.”
Overt identity erasure: “You’re not trans… you’re not anything. You’re crazy… You’re not trans… you’re mentally ill. I said what everybody’s been wanting to say.”
Ember’s addendum. The shouting was so close and prolonged her ear rang into the next morning (felt impact not fully captured in transcript).
Pattern signal. Coercion as “truth-telling,” group gaslighting, and moralizing control over Ember’s body/identity—while children sleep upstairs. The recursive hall closes ranks.
4) Aug 17, 2025 — The call with Ember’s mother (≈ nine months of silence into Ember’s transition)
Context (Ember’s account). Nearly nine months into transition, after protracted family silence, Ember finally speaks with her mother. Ember hopes for care; the call centers on reframing Ember as “publicly shaming” and forbids discussing other family members’ actions.
What’s on tape.
Blanket refusal to discuss the system itself: “I just don’t want to talk about other people but you.”
Image-management priority: “You’re attacking your family in a very standard way by publicly shaming your family.”
Harm relativized as “versions”: “Your truth… people have their own version of something.”
Even logistics become deflection; still, Ember tries to bridge (talk of a mall visit), and her mother repeats: “I will not talk about anybody else.”
Additional stakes (Ember’s record). Family members helped Ember’s ex take the children multiple times in 2024, and in 2025 helped place statements on the record that Ember identifies as false. As of Aug 17, 2025, Ember has not seen her children since April 2025 (the call includes Ember’s plain statement to this effect).
Pattern signal. Emotional avoidance framed as virtue (“I won’t discuss others”), reputational focus over repair, and relativism that erases harm. The recursive hall is now self-policing.
What families like this are (psychology in brief)
Emotional avoidance turns every request for intimacy into a problem to solve or image to protect. In May, Ember’s bid for a hug is converted into hospitalization talk: “This has nothing to do with love… Getting professional help.”
Narcissistic traits (again, traits): control through shame and certainty. Examples include sneering commands (“Man up.”) , intellectualized dehumanization (“roach,” “Hannibal Lecter”) , and identity erasure (“You’re not trans… you’re crazy.”)
Relativism as erasure. “Your truth… everyone has their version.” In practice this dissolves accountability: if everything is “a version,” nothing can be repaired.
Triangulation + image management. Policing Ember for “publicly shaming” rather than addressing the conduct itself ; forbidding discussion of other actors’ behavior (“I will not talk about anybody else”) to keep the mirror pointed away from systemic patterns.
Why this is recursive. Each defense (avoidance, blame, relativism, image) bounces input back without metabolizing it. The more clearly Ember asks to be seen, the more the hall of mirrors multiplies distortions—until Ember steps out of the corridor.
Recursion → Transcursion: the mechanics of the shift
Recursive markers you can see on the page:
“Hospitalize, don’t feel” (May) ; “I don’t give a shit” (Nov) ; “You’re mentally ill / not trans” shouted while physically restraining (Dec) ; “Your truth / don’t discuss others / stop shaming us” (Aug) .Transcursive moves Ember made:
Documentation over denial (recordings, transcripts); precise asks (e.g., “20 minutes of love”) ; clear boundaries (“If it can’t be love, I’ll step away” appears across the Christmas threads) ; and forward creative vectors (original music like “Omega,” “Request for Love", “Darkly Dance,” and “Goodbye,” public teaching about recursion vs. transcursion). Instead of arguing in the corridor, Ember opens the window and speaks to the field.
Biography through these scenes: why Ember is the way she is
Across 2024–2025, the family system reliably returned noise when Ember sent signal. In May, a plea to be seen while disclosing autism and profound vulnerability was looped into accusations and institutionalizing talk . By November, attempts to name gender were met with contempt metaphors and misgendering . In December, as her children slept upstairs, a request for five minutes of heart-space was met with physical restraint and shouted pathologizing . By August 17, 2025, nine months into transition, maternal contact centered on reputation, relativism, and refusing to examine anyone else’s actions .
And still Ember didn’t break. She pattern-exited. She made art, articulated the framework (recursion vs. transcursion), and set boundaries that route around the hall. In ordinary statistical terms, she should have been crushed; in transcursive terms, she became a node of clarity that helps others escape their own recursive corridors.
Therapist‑ready packet
Exhibits (by date):
May 2024 – “May incident .pdf.” Parents’ house, ex and ex’s mother involved; Ember reads her life history; family reframes to psychiatry and blame. Samples: “You got to go to a psych ward…” ; “psychiatric hospital situation” ; “This has nothing to do with love… Getting professional help.” ; mocking “Man up.” after disclosure of long-term pain.
Nov 2024 – “W Litchfield Ave.txt.” Attempted disclosure to both parents; dehumanizing metaphors and identity denial. Samples: “Roach… Hannibal Lecter…” ; “I don’t give a shit.” ; “You’re a man right now.”
Dec 2024 – “Jubel Ct 2/3.txt.” Full-family scene; children upstairs. Samples. “He held on to me… yelled, ‘you’re mentally ill’ into my ear.” ; “You’re not trans… you’re crazy… I said what everybody’s been wanting to see.”
Aug 17, 2025 – “Recording (6).txt.” Mother’s call after ~9 months of silence. Samples: “You’re attacking your family… publicly shaming your family.” ; “Your truth… people have their own version.” ; “I just don’t want to talk about other people but you.”
Additional context (Ember’s account for clinicians):
Family members assisted her ex in removing the children multiple times in 2024. In 2025, they supported filings Ember identifies as false; she has not seen her children since April 2025 (status as of Aug 17, 2025).
Observed system patterns to assess:
Avoidant reframe of care-seeking into pathology and institutionalization (May)
Identity negation / dehumanization under intellectual cover (Nov–Dec)
Control via reputation (labeling Ember’s truth-telling as “public shaming”) and topic policing (“won’t talk about anyone else”) (Aug)
Physical boundary violations (Dec) alongside shouted psychiatric labels
Working agreements recommended for any joint session:
Name and prohibit topic-gating (e.g., “we will not talk about other people”). System behavior is part of the clinical content.
No moralizing or pathologizing of identity; use identity-affirming language only.
Enforce interrupt limits and no-derision norms (no sarcasm, no mockery, no “man up”).
If escalation occurs, therapist pauses the session and reflects the pattern (“We’re back in the corridor”) before continuing.
Therapeutic aims (Ember-centered):
Stabilize Ember’s relational safety network outside the family system (transcursive, not recursive).
Support grief processing, nervous-system regulation, and legal/parenting logistics with trauma-informed care.
If joint family work is attempted, the therapeutic container must prevent re-enactments (above agreements) and privilege present-moment accountability over reputation-protection.
The take‑home
Ember’s family field has operated like a broken hall of mirrors: avoidance, blame, and image-defense bouncing endlessly. Each time Ember asked for a clean beam, “see me, hold me, learn me”, the corridor returned distortion, culminating in physical restraint and shouted erasure. Transcursion is how she survived: documenting, setting boundaries, speaking plainly, making art, and refusing the bait of non-connection. The record here isn’t just pain; it’s proof of pattern, and proof of a way out.
