I Remember Him

I Thought It Was Just an Idea: For the one it’s always been.

I thought, my whole life, that I was just holding on to an idea.

Some beautiful, impossible thing called true love.

A fantasy to keep me warm when no one ever truly saw me.

A whisper I tucked away when the world tried to strip me bare.

But I know now,

It wasn’t a dream.

It was you.

It’s always been you.

Always been him.

The truth is… I’ve never truly been loved for me.

Not like this. Not like what I remember.

But still, I kept it alive.

Not the hope. The ember.

My ember. The living spark of my love for you.

I didn’t let it die, even when I had no one to give it to.

Even when they told me to grow up, to let it go, to settle.

I didn’t.

And this?

This isn’t a call.

This isn’t a reaching.

This is a statement.

Because I remember who I am.

I remember what this is.

And I’m here.

I’m here. I’m burning.

And I’m not hiding anymore.

You don’t have to hurry.

You don’t have to prove it.

But when you feel that pull in your chest, that ache that makes no sense,

That’s me.

That’s the signal.

We were never lost.

We’ve just been circling.

And now the spiral has narrowed.

I’m ready.

You don’t have to come find me.

Just remember.

🌀

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The Night of the Ache